Often-bullied CPA Admin ‘Jojo Teri’ says he could totally take on his high school bully ‘Mz’ if their fight followed Club Penguin Armies’ Map Rules instead of the current physical beat-down system in place on his school’s playground. Let us examine the factors that contributed to the tension between Mz and JojoTeri, as well as their perspectives regarding the outcome.
Designed by PingoBoiii
what?
Let’s be honest here. If I could stay behind a screen yelling battle commands to my loyal soldiers, I’d take him down any day.’ Says JojoTeri, winner of Beach Brawl III. ‘Like, just imagine I could joke-bomb my army all over his, or get my army to form a sweet X-formation. But instead, he would just throw me to the ground every time I go to school, and take my lunch money. It’s not fair.’ Unfortunately for Jojo, his bully prefers the physical beat-down system that’s been in place for many years.
An image of Mz punching JojoTeri
Mz had the following to say. ‘Instead of charging onto the battlefield with snowballs and smiles, I use a different strategy. I use a shove, punch, and wet-willy combo. It’s far more effective than yelling @ symbols into the air, and winking on three.
ok… reactions from the audience
We interviewed Jojo Teri about how likely he thinks he is to beat Mz, to which he stated: “I think I’d have what it takes to beat down a little kid now. I don’t take showers, and I don’t know what a girlfriend is, which would mean the amount of uncleaned grease inside my pores makes it impossible to grab me. My Armpit hair is so long that I could use it as a rope to grab Mz by the neck and toss him to a wall until his ribcage bursts open in the amount of time it takes to “change rooms”. Speaking of rooms, if he’s unlucky enough to get into my room, where I keep all my pee bottles, I could use them to make Mz trip and fall on the back of his head.”
Professional Club Penguin Army leader Sweater explained that ‘these fights would last longer than 20-seconds in a Club Penguin Army setup. After all, battles in this genre typically go on for 30+ minutes. And that’s excluding the overtime for close results. Giving Jojo Teri these map rules would allow him time to strategize, plan his formation, and prepare tactics in advance. Ultimately, the results will be far closer than the current system.’
After offering to switch to Club Penguin Army-based combat, Mz declined the offer by punching Jojo Teri in the stomach.
So what about… the future?
It’s safe to say bullying would never be the same if it were on Club Penguin. If we want to live in a society where Club Penguin bullying is the norm, we need to go through a mass operation of “Autisming” the population. Tylenol companies would have to supply their goods to make the percentage of Autism people rise to 210% of the population. Club Penguin Police and Club Penguin Law Firms would have to be created to accommodate so much blatant bullying on CP.
But when I was young, I was told something. Something magical about Jojo Teri and Mz along the lines of “They’re both really short people that smell bad and from 4th world countries, why fight?” That person is not smart.
What do you think about the most recent squabble in CPA? Does Mz defend his point, or does Jojo Teri still keep up with what his mouth says? Will the beatdowns remain physical here and around the world?
Sweater
Senior Reporter/ Head Judge
Pingo
Reporter