How stupid is the CPA community? Like, how stupid, stupid? It is a question that has been wandering around the community for a minute now, without getting the necessary attention. This satire aims to discuss this point in a way that is clear to all.

Designed by Dino

definition of intelligence

If you paid attention to philosophy class, something I wouldn’t wish upon my greatest enemy, you’ve probably heard of Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences. It’s a theory that states that there are 8, possibly 9, types of “intelligence”, which, realistically speaking, if the CPA community is dumb, it needs to do poorly on them all.

The intelligences in question are: linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalist, and possibly existential type. Half of these are practically the same, so I’ll narrow it down to “word smart”, “IQ smart”, and “emotional/diplomacy smart”. Our goal today is to see just how low the community ranks in each.

You think you are good at words?

Let’s face it, none of us is good at reading or writing. The only reason we are is because its kinda hard to read a McDonald’s menu without learning how to read. You can probably send a war declaration, and it would take the CPA Admins 6 weeks to actually learn enough English to read it out, let alone the other army. This also plays into the fact that, secretly, 60% of the community is actually 8 years old, which means they’re probably still learning how to read the alphabet (don’t believe me? Go ask 2006.)

Studies show that 79% of the community can’t read, 33% of the community can’t write, and 21% of the community can’t spell. In the developed world, not even 3% reaches any of these, placing us in the bottom 15 nations in illiteracy rates. Safe to say, we can’t read, and we can’t write.

Now that I think about it, how am I able to write

iq? LOL..

You really think you’re gonna find Einstein in this community? You did? I am assuming you have school (unless you don’t), so… Hand me over your math grades. All of them, yes. I can assure you that no one in this space has a grade higher than 60%.

Why am I so negative? Well, first off, no one here is good with economy (considering every army has inflation in the thousands), and, oh god, I can’t believe the proof that I was sent of the smartest CPA member, Smart6uy7, messing up a second-grade question. Our brains are shrinking.

Oh, the blasphemy

Remember when I said 60%? Well, it might not even be 50, because frankly, how does a community have at least 288 dropouts? This is like, mathematically shattering guys, but I bet only half of the readers actually know that 288% is more than 100% (starts putting nerd glasses as I just said mathematical gibberish and fooled you, I think).

We don’t even use this opportunity to touch grass

emotional/DIPLOMACY smart

It seems there really isn’t a strong suit for CPA, because we are just terrible at this. We keep warring with each other, bombing innocent civilians on our CPA territory, because what? We felt like it? And if things go wrong, we just… ignore them? My dad, aged 73, told me something about how you are emotionally unstable if you can’t handle yourself, which seems to be common in the community.

(burps)

Haha, you guys can not even say army bias because this is on cparmies.org

It really doesn’t help that CPA is a schizophrenic center for your emotions, because you guys are constantly laughing, mad, and scared at the same time. I’ve also lost count of how many :sob: emojis you guys use, so overall I say no emotional stability and no emotional intelligence.

I can see why barely anyone here has a job

What did we learn?

CPA is the stupidest community there can be. We can’t read, we can’t write, we can’t even declare war correctly anymore, and I’m starting to hear voices just by being here. Every single member has dropped out at least twice, most dropped out thrice, mind you, and we’re all in need of either a studying timetable, a shower, or both. I wouldn’t trust anyone here with a pet, because, honestly, the pet would have more intelligence.

We are idiots who live in an idiocracy run by bigger, older, and meaner idiots, for whom I wrote this post for no good reason. This post has nothing of positive value left other than a cry for help. Your intelligence is so low that I seriously wonder how we filled out forms for the census last year. Seek help, I can feel my grammar worsen by the minute.

It seems that the CPA Community might not be the sharpest tool in the shed compared to the average person. As technology advances the human kind, CPA still has some catching up to do. Do you think CPA is as stupid as portrayed in the post? Is there hope for the next generation of CPA?  Stupid (easter egg)

PingoBoiii
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