Following a tenuous three-way battle, the opening ceremony of the CP Army Olympics has come to an end. With experienced community members occupying all three teams, the fight was considerably contentious. After one team took home a well-deserved victory, the highly anticipated event is now fully underway.
Designed by Wynn
Announced on June 28th, 2023, the CPA Olympics marks the first anniversary of the Club Penguin Armies organization. Arranged by the Community Committee, the Olympics 2023 features three teams that are set to face off in a variety of games and challenges. Team Red, Team Moonstone, and Team Touch Grass are due to compete for medals throughout the coming week. To kick off the Opening Ceremony, each team logged on to CPA Battleground for a Color Wars battle. Establishing their strength and unity on the battlefield, the winning team would take home their first gold medal of the tournament.
The Color Wars battle
Meeting on the server Battleground, Team Red gathered at the Docks while Team Touch Grass and Team Moonstone assembled at the Forest and Cove respectively. The clash began inside the Mine Shack, in which Team Red and Team Moonstone promptly gathered into formation. With no lawn in sight, Team Touch Grass bombed the room for two minutes in a frenzy. Despite their initial disorganization, Team Touch Grass collected themselves and contended with a dominant Team Red. Reminiscent of old army warfare, snowballs became a primary weapon for the combatants.
Following a tie between the red and green teams, all three sides rushed to the Dojo for a second room. Due to Mchappy’s expertise in penguin clicking, Team Moonstone became the first to enter. Though each team was much more organized, Team Touch Grass secured the first victory of the CPA Olympics. After a considerable amount of nostalgic snowball fights throughout the battle, Team Moonstone received a shout-out from the judges.
We decided to reach out to Austinfraud, a member of Team Touch Grass, to gain insight into their battle experience:
The Color Wars battle seemed like a lot of fun! How do you feel about your team’s performance during it?
We knew we were going to win even before we entered the battlefield! Why? Simple, we touch grass. We outperformed both other teams because, unlike the other team, we touch grass every day. We completely destroyed the other two teams thanks to everyone on the team, especially Alu and Disha for stepping up to lead. I believe we won solely because we are in a different realm than the other teams.
What was your favorite moment from the battle?
When we formed the Sideways T, that obviously gave us the win in 2nd room.
Considering the two battle rooms were indoors, did you believe the odds were against
your team?
We thought the odds were stacked against us because the judges were torturing us by assigning us to indoor rooms. But we held on tight, pushed past all boundaries, accepted the challenge, and defied all odds.
Do you have anything you’d like to say to Team Red and Team Moonstone?
We will teach you how to touch the grass and become one of us as a gesture of Team Touch Grass.
So first you’ll want to get out of bed/your gaming chair. This step can be rough. A good first step is to hype yourself up by cursing at yourself in your head, listening to loud music, looking out the window and staring at a landmark you want to reach, in this case, the grass on your lawn. Next, after you get out of your resting position, you need to leave your room. This step is in my opinion the hardest, due to your crippling iron deficiency, meaning once you stand up, your vision will immediately go black for a few moments, and you’ll want to collapse to the floor. That is alright. You will be back up before you know it if you do. Take this step slow. The next one will need the preparation. Now this step, if you didn’t take your time on the last step, can be a run ender. This can send you back to character creation entirely. Going down the stairs. Now, assuming you ignored my advice and speedran out of your room while your vision was still fuzzy and your balance wobbly, this part of the run will f you over. If you fall here, its over for you. Take it slow and easy, no need to rush and never touch grass again. Good luck soldier. Congratulations, you’ve seemingly made it through the inferno on your journey to the outside, but don’t rest easy yet. You’ve landed yourself in a false oasis now. To finish the journey, you need to wander through the kitchen. Do not let your will power ease up. If you falter now, it will be 3:19 AM and you will have eaten 3 jars of peanut butter and an oven pizza all by yourself. Close your eyes if need be, and don’t let yourself give into the temptation of “just having a quick snack.” You’re in the home stretch. Now, you’ve made it. You’re outside. Grass is just within your reach. Good job! Your parents would be devastated to learn how much effort this took you. Go back inside and go back to doing whatever and try again in 2 months.
Following a successful opening ceremony, CPA’s first Olympics has officially commenced. Team Touch Grass has received the first gold medal of the week. With Team Red trailing close behind, close competition is expected for the remainder of the tournament. Though Team Moonstone did not win a room, their fierceness and competitive nature have been noted. With a week packed full of events and games, only time will tell which team will be crowned the winner. What did you think of the Color Wars battle? Will Team Touch Grass maintain their winning streak, or will Team Red and Moonstone come out on top?
More Information
Mchappy is interning at Club Penguin Armies as the Chief Executive Producer. Max held him at gunpoint to finish his biography.