[Satire] Help Force Chaos

“If one out of every ten people is a victim to a crime, then nine out of every ten people are criminals.” The Help Force single handedly accounts for those nine people.


Designed by Wynn

First, a discourse on what we are talking about today. Help Force Chaos is the time when a particular topic is picked up, and becomes an entire server-wide takeover. However, it can also extend to any action performed or not performed, directly or indirectly, by HF Legend Elp. No matter what the chaos is about, you can guarantee one thing – Elp is the mastermind behind it.

An incident that serve as an example of the chaos is the court sessions held by Elp. In these, Elp acts as the judge, the jury and the executioner. The defendants are usually visitors. The prosecutors, as well as the defendant’s lawyers, are both Helpers who want the visitor banned. Eventually, the visitor is duly tried, convicted, and banned. However, this is just one of the examples of the chaos.

Where would we be without the chaos in Help Force? In a much happier place. We’d spend less time banning visitors (or avoiding getting banned, in your case) and might’ve had enough time to achieve world peace by now. That’s irrelevant. Today we’re launching a full investigation into the chaos caused in the Help Force and how it affects CPA as a whole.

We can all agree that Help Force is the best, most creative, most fun army. Unless you’re a visitor. We have here an exclusive interview from the origin of chaos in HF, Elp.

Elp: I will answer all your questions by saying Elp is the greatest.

Elp, some might say that your chaos is no longer funny and bothers many people in CPA. Say “Elp is the greatest” if you agree.

Elp: Elp is the greatest…

A harrowing truth indeed. But let’s not only rely on the perpetrator’s words. I have direct testimony from Aaronstone, who is a frequent victim of the chaos and visitor bans in Help Force.


An example of Help Force Chaos

It’s clear from the interaction above that Aaronstone’s family is being held hostage, probably in the recruiting mines. We asked many visitors from different armies if they ever felt personally victimized by the chaos in HF, and these numbers speak for themselves:

Chaos statistics

Chaos statistics

Clearly 78.9% of these people are either banned from Help Force and therefore unaware of the chaos, or Elp got to them first. Either way it doesn’t matter because visitors have no rights (and that includes no graph rights). Cry about it.

It’s possible, though, that some visitors might delusionally believe that the visitor discrimination in Help Force is just a game. To that we say:


If the proof from visitors isn’t enough for you, look at this testimony from staff members who totally weren’t bribed with a cookie




In conclusion, please ban us :prayge~1:

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Mchappy is interning at Club Penguin Armies as the Chief Executive Producer. Max held him at gunpoint to finish his biography.

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