School sucks – We all know this by now, don’t we? With our time spent in front of a computer watching digitalized penguins get slashed, the September Drop knocks on everyone’s door to take our troops. But how can my army be the one that doesn’t get turned into the community’s laughing stock? That’s why Club Penguin Armies made this post, just for you (and everyone else).
Designed by MasterDS.
#1: FIRE EVERYONE!
“Responsibility? Yeah sure you have responsibility… the responsibility to recruit 50 troops in September young man. Get back to the mines!”
Despite what I just said, we all know that the September Drop has been something sold by Big Lazy to continue not recruiting. Instead of the excuse being they were on “holiday”, the excuse is now that they have “school”. But you, oh glorious leader, how do you stop this plague of inactive staff to slowly destroy your army? Why not do it yourself and fire all of them! Its not like having a High Commander’s panel of 3 members is bad right?
#2: STEAL CPJ/NEW CP
“Minions! Today we steal… CPJ!”
Do you feel jealous of your classmates? Some are going to university, taking fancy courses, while others use their physical abilities to build careers in sports. And then there’s you, the either scrawny or morbidly obese kid in the class with no passions whatsoever ever since getting recruited at the age of 11. What can you do? Embrace it, make it your biggest trait. Recruit every single Club Penguin Private Server player. What are the mods going to do, ban you for advertisement? You’ve successfully raised your army’s max by five troops without them even realizing it, right, these CPPSs die faster than a mayfly after the summer. With so many new troops, you can even pitch another Blood Bowl right after the last one. Just imagine two Blood Bowls in a single year.
#3: GAMBLE!
“BET IN ALL ON SWAT SHUTTING DOWN BY OCTOBER!”
Let’s face it, you’re poor. Your income consists of pocketing whatever spare change your 30-year-old advisory board gives you for Nitro giveaways, knowing very well you can’t max over the goal of 20+ anymore. Given that we’re all still in the spirit for some epic gambling, why not embrace it? We have Club Penguin Armies Club Penguin Army Battleground, and Club Penguin Army Judges, but I’m yet to hear a CPAG, Club Penguin Army Gambling, roll around. Maybe your income can now reach double digits and you can convince your landlord that you aren’t broke – for about 12 minutes.
#4: the m-word
“September Drop? That just makes it easier to win by multilogging!”
Sick of actually trying to win tournaments when you’re sure that your enemies are multilogging their way to success? Do they start off with 50 in the room but by room 3 drop to 35? Why not just do the same! CPAB Devs are likely the people who are the most asleep in the community, rivaled only by the sleep-deprived veterans that lurk in the main chat of each army. What are they going to do if you get caught? Demote you? They would never! Instead, announce in your announcements channel that the CPA Community was bought by your rivals! You don’t even need to say which—odds are there are less than 10 armies in the community by the time September arrives. Just try to look out for any spotlights.
#5: shut down
“It’s not about the destination, its about the journey!” said everyone.
This route is more common on the Small and Medium side of the community. Have you tried everything you can to stop the decline of your army? You’ve multilogged, fired your staff force, recruited an entire CPPS, and yet you can’t get out of the quarterfinals of [Insert Currently Relevant Tournament]? Buddy, I think it’s PMO over for you, GNG. Shutdown, GNG. Your army is washed if it can’t max over 50 in September, GNG. Go back to work, UNC, and get back to school, GNG.
After all of my epic tips and tricks to survive the September Drop (if you believe in it), I fully expect Christmas Chaos to have 40 armies, for CPA Gambling to go mainstream, and for your landlord to evict you after hearing you celebrate getting 10 more dollars when you still owe him 1,000. If you’re too young to know about landlords, go watch Skibidi Toilet and listen to the rest of the post. I hope this epic post helps you become a powerhouse until you lose everything the moment your remaining staff members call you crazy and quit the army, possibly the community altogether.
PingoBoiii
Reporter-in Training
Got an even better idea of what to do. Instead of stealing CPJ/New CP just buy them out. now you can write an exception in the advertising rule for just yourself; nobody will know anyway.