Times were never as contradictory as they have been nowadays. Young generations yearn to be heard, as they, simultaneously, lack the necessary courage to make themselves audible. Why is that? What exactly hinders them from expressing their thoughts? What is behind such a fear? Let us investigate this matter.
According to the philosopher Martin Heidegger, fear invites us to live in inauthenticity. We do not attribute meaning; we let others and circumstances attribute it, alienating ourselves from our own being. We live in an improper sense that points in no direction, like an end without a purpose. This definition is no different when we talk about the fear of speaking our minds, whether in public or in particular with close friends.
When we fear communicating our thoughts and feelings, we end up conforming to what is expected of us by others and society. This conformity distances us from our true essence and persona, resulting in a life that lacks authenticity. The lack of genuine expression prevents us from attributing a personal and profound meaning to our existence. Therefore, are we a mere reflex of the masses or are we brave individuals that seek to speak our thoughts upon inquiry?
The fear of speaking our minds can be explained by various causes. This worry is, in fact, a manifestation of deeper fears that we have. Could it be a mere lack of assertiveness or lack of self-confidence, or a reflex of the fear of external judgement? Let us take a closer look at some of the possible causes.
FEAR OF REJEction
“The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Since its creation, humans are bound to be social beings. Deep down we yearn to belong to a community; we need other people. Moreover, when we find ourselves involved in such groups, we often tend to feel reluctant to express ourselves and end up rejected and alone once again.
However, is it really worth living in inauthenticity just to feel included in a certain group? To what extent – if any – is it valid to abandon our own identity to conform to the collective? Can we genuinely call these people friends if they do not respect our feelings and personal thoughts? Perhaps it is better to let go of such ‘friendships’ and search for people who truly value yourself as a whole (click here to read more on the topic).
FEAR OF JUDGEMENT
This one is a classic. I would say it is an epidemic worry. The fear of judgment can translate itself to the fear of criticism in general. It usually happens when we overestimate the opinions of others more than the truth and authenticity itself. That way, we often feed our ego with what others think of us, what makes us live as if we were social chameleons.
Nevertheless, if you want everyone to like you, then naturally you will have to displease yourself to the level of those whom you are bowing down to. Give it a thought: how many people do you need to like you? One thousand? Two thousand? Ten thousand? Everyone? This is a component of modern culture, whose highest moral value is to be a nice person in the eyes of everyone. If you want to act like this, you already sold your essence to these individuals. This does not mean, however, that we should not be modest and kind to people; rather, that we should not adapt ourselves to please others.
Nothing is more harmful to the strengthening of one’s personality than the desire for collective approval. After all, when one lives in constant pursuit of others’ acceptance, acting based on God’s will (for the believers) and what is in one’s own heart becomes impossible. Speak the truth and express yourself without fearing being judged. Here in Brazil, we have a saying: “Do people pay your bills? If not, screw them!”
LACK OF PROPER COMMUNICATION SKILLS
In stores, at home, and in every single corner, people rely on communication to express their needs, share information, and establish connections. However, because one may deem themselves incapable of properly communicating, they refrain from sharing their thoughts. Perhaps their wording could hurt someone or even convey the wrong meaning of what they wanted to originally say.
This is precisely why expanding our vocabulary and improving our communication skills – whether written or verbal – allows us to coherently organize our thoughts and express them with ease. How could I word my opinions on a certain matter without knowing the precise wording for such? A fast way to learn how to develop your communication skills is by applying to the Club Penguin Armies reporting team! Here, we allow you to voice your opinions and train you to properly write and convey your thoughts. Overcome your fears and give it a shot!
Overcoming fears is a continuous journey that requires courage and perseverance. Although it is not easy, it is a necessity for those who wish to grow, seize new opportunities, and live authentically. May this article be helpful not only for your army career but also for your life in general. Do you agree with the thoughts expressed in this piece? What other suggestion would you give to those who struggle with voicing their opinions?
Edu14463
Associate Editor
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Army Legend. Former Water Ninjas leader. Founder and Former Leader of the Elite Guardians of Club Penguin. Current Club Penguin Armies Editor-in-Chief.