Army Rivalries: The Pain Wars 2016

Welcome to the third edition of Army Rivalries, the column in which we explore the various conflicts of armies. In today’s release, we will explore the conflict known as the Pain Wars.

army rivalries

Designed by Wynn

Pain Wars were a large conflict between the alliance of the Army of Club Penguin (ACP), Army Republic, and the Nachos against the Rebel Penguin Federation (RPF) under the leadership of Lord Pain. The war was incredibly chaotic and filled to the very brim with drama and controversy. The controversy ranged from proven bot raids, all the way to accusations of illegal drug use in real life, and more. Majority of the battles struggled with more than one army declaring its victory. No-shows being a common occurrence, together with general toxicity.

On December 20, 2016, Lord Pain returned to the Rebels from his retirement. Lord Pain has always been a controversial figure, receiving many titles, including the self proclaimed “god of warfare.” He gained fame for his part in many armies, and even more so for his incredible hate of ACP. It is therefore no surprise that following his return, the Rebels issued a declaration of war against the Clovers, with one goal in mind: “death” to ACP. Nachos, fearing they could become the next target, allied themselves with ACP for the duration of the war.

The invasion of Breeze

Following the declaration, the Clovers raided the Tuxedo server during AUSIA times, enabling them to take the server with no resistance. The Federation disputed that victory, retaliating by invading Breeze. The battle saw over 50 fighting. Winner of the battle is unclear, as both Clovers and Rebels declared victory, which as the war progress became a staple. Soon after, a controversy struck. During the battle, several Rebel members masqueraded as members of the Army Republic. Their facade prompted a fierce statement from the Army Republic. In their statement, they announced their decision to join the war on the side of ACP and Nachos. With the controversy heating, RPF further fueled its fire. They accused Ryan, who was a leader in the Nachos, of bot raiding under the alter identity of Quarv, while a former Army Republic leader accused the Federation of multi-logging.

The war continued to escalate through December 22, 2016, with the battles of Half Pipe and Parka. The drama likewise escalated as accusations of RPF’s drug use, unfair fighting, and multi-logging flew around. Further fueling the fire of rivalry and bad blood was Ryan’s admission to countless botting offenses, and their intention to not step down despite such. Thus, getting off clean. Despite the bad blood, as it was nearing Christmas: ACP and RPF put their differences aside and signed a treaty of non-aggression during Christmas. Despite this, Nachos decided to not sign it and publicly stated their intent to invade.

The day before Christmas was the most active day of the war, simultaneously being the most contested. Out of the seven battles that were fought, five had results contested, including the battle of Christmas, which was the last battle of the war. The battles were not the only thing happening during the day, as controversy occurred yet again. Nachos published their post accusing RPF of multi-logging, and accusations of blackmail. Soon after, the Nachos chat got hacked.

The invasion of Crunch

The next day, the non-aggression treaty came into full effect. Despite their earlier intent, Nachos decided to not invade. With the war now being put to a halt, thanks to the treaty.

The drama was a different story. Lord Pain announced the war to be 8-1 in their favor. Rebels called out Nachos for lying about multi-logging. Following this, one of the most controversial figures of the war, Ryan, becomes ousted from their leading position in Nachos. Nachos then distance themself from the Army of Club Penguin by breaking their alliance. They also begin mass banning RPF and Club Penguin Army Central members.

The final nail to the coffin of the 2016 Pain Wars becomes the Doritos declaration of war on the Rebels. The war officially ended on December 26, 2016 with ACP following DCP into the Grinch War, a war which ended in cease-fire. But the damage was done as the Clovers nation was gone.

The Pain Wars are incredible examples of why it is important to make the army community a hobby rather than a full-time endeavor. With its drama, resulting in the once-dominate ACP losing its nation to RPF, it is a warning to all armies today to take things easy, and to avoid the toxic culture of baseless accusations and insult throwing. Otherwise, we are all just monkeys throwing poop at one another. Do you think a war like this would be possible today? 

Senior Reporter

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