Club Penguin Armies Goes To War

It has come to our attention that some “knockoffs” have been attempting to cover community news. Club Penguin Armies does not take this lightly, and have decided to act on this fast by declaring war.

Designed by Wynn

Everyone should know by now that Club Penguin Armies is a strong force made up of some of the best staff members in the community. With our experienced, large team, we have been able to accomplish much since our creation in July 2022. When news broke out about another news organization, the team did not waste time to prepare for battle. Not only has this organization been stealing our graphic designers’ hard work, but they’ve been ripping off our breaking news!

Club Penguin Armies has become all too comfortable with obstacles, but every time we demolish those that are in our way. Nothing can stop the beast that Superhero123 has funded (publicly) for years now. Therefore, instead of passively waiting for the war to arrive on our turf, we are taking the offense. This is a warning to all of those who dare challenge the influence Club Penguin Armies has created. We will not hesitate, nor discriminate, to go up against any organization or person.

War Terms

  1. Neither Club Penguin Armies nor the declared upon news organization may rebrand as a way to avoid this war.
  2. The usage of allies is not allowed in this war, nor is outside involvement of others.
  3. All battles must be conducted with pen, not sword.
  4. No doxxing, ddosing, botting, multilogging or cheating in any form.
  5. Neither organization is allowed to merge into a third-party organization after this declaration. Any merger will be deemed invalid and a complete surrender.
  6. The losing organization must merge into the winning organization, or accept the terms of a treaty.
  7. A withdrawal from this conflict for any reason and in any shape or form will constitute a forfeit of the war. Failure to publish a new post for three days will be viewed as forfeiting.
  8. Any attempt to exploit loopholes will result in an automatic defeat.
  9. Any evidence of any of these war terms being breached will result in an instant defeat of the opposing side in this war.

After all, all is fair in love and war. And this is Club Penguin Armies. Good luck and may the best organization win.

War training

In preparation for battle, and a call to arms, we were able to get in contact with former Chief Executive Producer Wynn for her inspiring words on this momentous occasion.

Seeking inspiration and a lift to my spirit before facing what might be my final battle, I scanned my bookshelf, and my gaze settled on a quote from Shakespeare: ‘Our battle is more full of names than yours; Our men more perfect in the use of arms; Our armor all as strong, our cause the best then reason will our hearts should be as good.’

Hopefully a victor will be decided before our very own staff team decide to overthrow Disha and Mchappy. All jokes aside, this article is not to be taken seriously. Or is it serious?

More Information

Filed under: Latest News, Satire | Tagged: , , , , ,

Mchappy is interning at Club Penguin Armies as the Chief Executive Producer. Max held him at gunpoint to finish his biography.

2 Responses

  1. Larken February 11, 2024 (8:22 pm)

    “This is a warning to all of those who dare challenge the influence Club Penguin Armies has created. We will not hesitate, nor discriminate, to go up against any organization or person.”

    Challenge accepted.

  2. […] Website Post: by CPA Chief Executive Producer […]

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