No matter what uniform you wear or which server you call home, every army is made up of the same strange and wonderful species: troops. From the hyperactive recruit to the ghost troops, armies are a melting pot of personalities, habits, and questionable individuals.
Designed by Rye Bread
Whether you have been around since OG armies or just joined your first event last week, you have probably started to notice the patterns. Troops come in all shapes, sizes, and activity levels, but somehow, the same archetypes keep popping up across every army. It is like there is a secret factory somewhere churning out these exact personalities. Some are helpful, some are chaotic, and some… we are still not sure are real.
Let us take a closer look at the troops who make CPA the mess it is.
The Ghost
They joined the server during a recruiting spree, said “hi” once in main chat, and immediately got promoted to Private for simply existing. Then, nothing. No pings answered. No messages sent. And no sign of life. They are somehow always listed in the ranks update, like a museum exhibit. Occasionally, they resurface during a war event by accident, ask “wait, what is this?” and vanish again.
The Tryhard
This troop treats CPA like a full-time job. They have spreadsheets for formations strategies, count tactics aloud like they are in a command room, and would rather miss family gatherings than events. They are the first to join VC, the last to leave, and will apologize profusely for being five minutes late to a training event on a weekday. Probably has “future mod” written in their bio and DMs leaders with unsolicited improvement ideas. Deep down, they just want to be noticed, and promoted to HCOM as fast as possible.
The Meme Maker
Tactics? Recruiting? Forget it. They are too busy making memes about the last event and roasting the rival armies. They may never have excelled in a formation training, but somehow they are the cultural glue holding the chat together. Whenever drama breaks out, they are the first to reply with a poorly edited screenshot and 10 star reactions. Their jokes may get them muted once in a while (because they may be edgy), but let us face it, the army would not be the same without them.
The Alt
You know the type. A “brand-new recruit” who miraculously understands formations, CPA history, and knows everything about how to properly run an army because, apparently, the leader does not. Suspicious? Extremely. Their grammar is too clean, their tactics are too fast, and they somehow already know who “Ganger90”, “IceyFeet1234”, and “Oagalthorp” were. Eventually, they slip up and get caught.
The Committed Casual
They are the silent MVPs of the army. Never talk, never complain, just show up to events like clockwork. Promotions come steadily, even though you have never seen them type more than “ty.” They are in the event pictures, in the ranks, but not in the drama and in any chat conversations. You only realize how much they mattered when they quietly leave the server, and the entire chat scrambles to write heartfelt messages like, “wait, they were my favorite troop!!”
The Retired Legend™
This one has not been truly active since the days of OG Club Penguin, but their name is still whispered with awe. When they pop into chat, everyone instantly switches to respectful mode like a rare ancient penguin has appeared. They will log on for a single event every six months, most likely a tournament finals, drop a “lol modern armies suck” comment, and disappear again. Half their messages are flashbacks to “when I led during the 2020 we would max 200+…,” and the other half are vague teases about “maybe returning… soon.”
The Rebel Without a Cause
Every army has one: the chaotic neutral. They instigate drama like it is a full-time hobby, call out staff in public, and constantly threaten to leave, but never actually do. They have been kicked, warned, and muted more times than they have shown up to events. Still, they are weirdly entertaining and somehow still in the server. Whether you love them, hate them, or just want them to read the rules for once, they keep the main chat from ever getting too quiet.
At the end of the day, armies are not just made of ranks and wars. They are made of the weird, wonderful, and occasionally unhinged people behind the penguins. Whether you are the silent workhorse or the chaotic meme machine, you are part of the madness that keeps CPA alive (and deeply entertaining). Have you ever seen a troop like these ones?
Edu14463
Chief Executive Producer
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Army Legend. Former Water Ninjas leader. Founder and Former Leader of the Elite Guardians of Club Penguin. Currently serving as Chief Executive Producer in Club Penguin Armies.