Satire: Top 5 Fast Ways to Be Banned on CPA

Have you not been banned from CPA Discord yet? That’s funny. There you are, searching for a ban. I am here to help you with this task. But, be careful. Or don’t.


Designed by Cassie

Note: The contents of this post are not meant to be taken seriously. This is a satirical post and does not represent the views of Club Penguin Armies, or its staff. Additionally, we do not encourage you to try breaking server rules. Protect security at CPA.

What is a moderator’s job when there is absolutely nothing to moderate? Perhaps, members need to start entertaining each other by breaking the rules. Let us explore five awesome ways to banish yourself, forever.

5. Break the Rules of #memes

Please post MEDIA only and refrain from conversations here. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, or simply vent about the toughness of life, please do NOT CHAT IN #MEMES. Also, if you’re an army leader, you should focus on recruiting instead of posting cringe memes. By avoiding Head Moderator Mare’s wise words, you can discover deep trouble.

How do we tell him? Meme by Zambi

4. Claim to Be Someone You Are Not

Not feeling great about your current reputation or just want to reinvent yourself? Easy fix—create an alt account! Who needs a consistent identity anyway? Sure, you might get banned. However, isn’t it worth the thrill of trying to outsmart everyone?

Banned alt

Former Head Moderator Aaronstone Questioning User

3. Write Something Wrong In This Post

The writer writing this satirical post was heavily burdened with care, ensuring nothing inappropriate or offensive goes into this post. Thus, if you’re eager to get banned from CPA’s staff team and CPA as a whole, simply join the reporting team today. There, you can freely write away your darkest thoughts to your heart’s content!

2. Fail To Meet The Weight Standards

Club Penguin Armies has strict standards: if you’re not tipping the scales at 500 lbs, exuding a greasy sheen, and emanating the aroma of a 5-in-1 Baconator, you’re simply not worthy. Moderators have clear policies against exorbitating fat people. Oh? Yes, Aaronstone42 was Head Moderator. What do you mean? He is over 500 lbs? Well, no wonder he had to step down! So, if you ever wonder why you always get stuck in #verification, maybe go on a diet, lose a few kilos, and then contemplate rejoining our server. Not under, nor above the limits. You must stay within the established acceptable range of weight enforced by the Head Moderators.

Banned weight

“Gotta lose some pounds to join the server!”

1. Dare To Defy Dictator Mchappy’s Orders

Have you not touched grass in 24 hours? Do you constantly let Discord distract you, instead of focusing and studying for that crucial test? What about ignoring Mchappy’s Direct Messages? Dictator Mchappy reserves the right to mute anyone for committing these offenses. If these offenses persist, it may lead to more severe consequences, possibly even a ban.

Mchappy Muting Community Members

Have you fallen victim to Mchappy’s wrath, finding yourself silenced by his anger? If you are, you are certainly on the brink of your banishment. Be careful. Or don’t.

Fun X Time
Senior Reporter

More Information

Filed under: Satire | Tagged: , , , ,

Hi! I am Fun X Time, formerly and popularly known as Krill 300, or simply Krill. I am currently serving as a Commander-in-Chief at the Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) since November 2023. I have been in armies since February 2020. I am interested in computer science, programming, physics, chemistry, and biology. What about you?

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