Your army will always be the better army. Anyone that tells you otherwise is either paying a central governing body to beat you, a multilogging gremlin, or a skill issue. No matter what, the period of time when you were the most relevant will forever be the best part of your army. You’re great, awesome really. But some people do not get that memo. Some people seem to think about “woke nonsense” like “thinking about the other”. Here in Club Penguin Armies, we do not support these ideals, and neither should you!
Designed by MasterDS
#1: THE TRUTH, your leader sucks
This is the worst leader in the history of Club Penguin Armies. His existence alone holds up back years in CPA evolution. He is every version of (insert modern-day insults) and hates every minority, even his own. His words are worst then the devil, because the devil doesn’t have a Club Penguin account. His legacy is already terrible in the army he is from. Despite being in charge for 13 hours, 41 minutes and 53 seconds as of writing, he made their maxes go from 391039 to 12 and a half eaten bag of pringles. I think its best to say that he was probably in some controversy years ago when he was half of his age and did something mildly mean that one time. Nothing he says is good and he isn’t just devil’s advocate, it is his preacher.
#2: your other leaders are dead
This is the part of the story where I talk about how inactive and lazy the rest of the army is, probably as an attempt to get the 2 remaining staff members that recruit over 3 recruits to get angry too. All that they do is hype chat, talk in chat, leave in long periods of time (usually 2 to 3 minutes), and talk to staff about how to do their job (for which I will call just sending memes in main chat to make them sound lazy). These people are who you should be angry, as they are freeloading from the already bad people in charge. They remember that you’re amazing, don’t you remember that time 8 years ago when we got 1st place in a S/M tournament? Do you want that to be deleted from history? I do not think so, so go to work, unlike these haters, E6.
#3: it’s all VETERANS/ALLIES/multi-logs/ROGUES
Members? Troops? A staff team over the number of 4? This army has never heard of so called recruiting. They’re too busy asking their mom to drive them for 2 hours to their closest school instead of recruiting for a better Club Penguin world, wake up sheeple! Count their troops, all you’ll be doing is counting and counting the amount of AFKs , multil-logs, rogues, allies and veterans that log on. Seriously? Guys don’t you realize that us, the greatest army, are so injustice by veterans as the younger army? We were established a whopping 2 weeks after them guys! We need to send them a message! Mandatory Club Penguin Journey reference.
#4: bad people (they’re mean)
They will never admit to such cruelty. Their staff-in-training that got recruited 3 weeks ago once said they would take my lunch money. This is horrible news to the Club Penguin community if justifications like these never get them an automatic forfeit. Moments like these is why I look at the mirror of my philosophy class and question what is justice? What is freedom? Are we free to do what we want? Or is there someone (the bad people in this post) that controls everything we say… Their HCOM also said a mean word. the word was, content warning… stupid.
#5: they’re FAT
Go ride a bike if it does not already break under the pressure of your left hand LOL. Please go outside and touch something that isn’t the keyboard your parents got 8 years ago for your middle work assignment, and not to slowly abandon your family to the point of being unrecognizable at the dinner table. Next time, please consider not eating, just starve please.
The army you’re in is great. It is awesome, the best even. The army you’re fighting? Terrible. They have a giant history of multilogging, everyone is fat there and are all terrible people who will take lunch money from middle schoolers and eat babies. The moral of the story is that we’re always the morally superior army despite maxing 26 less then them and haven’t won a tournament or battle in 4 years.
PingoBoiii
Reporter-in Training