On July 11, the legendary satire poem contest was announced to complement the anniversary theme of Music Jam Week. The winners of the satire poem contest have now been officially decided. Let’s delve in to see who won and read their satire poems.

Designed by Wynn

Club Penguin Army Central initially hosted the Legends Satire Poem Contest. The contest was originally created following the Legends Inductions. This contest aims to bring the community together by having fun and making light-hearted jokes about each other, regardless of one’s diverse beliefs. It’s a way to unite everyone positively and appropriately.

Since July 11, Club Penguin Armies hosted the Legends Satire Poem Contest until July 19. The contest was part of the Music Jam week celebrating CPA’s second anniversary. During this time, Chief Executive Producer Mchappy decided to host the Legends Satire Poem Contest to create more activity within the community. The first-place winner of this contest gets $10 Nitro, a special role, and image permissions. The second and third-place winners will receive special roles and image perms.

After reading multiple satire poems, the poems were narrowed down to three that stood out. Without further ado, here is the list of winners of the Legends Poem Satire contest 2024.

First Place

Strong as smoking snakes,
Map grey, full of possession,
All fear your great, large rakes,
Battles make great impression,
Every time fighting for good sakes,
After battle, bathing in golden lakes.

Though as strong as you may be,
Your lines lined by the crazy,
With the Guardians you may be free,
Yet all times you line my sight hazy,
In my stomach right hits a knee,
Wish I rather been stung by a bee.

Troops baked,
lost their sanity,
All fueled by impeccable lead,
Of those with great profanity,
Going to make my mind bleed,
Maybe not as far as in vanity,
But oh, the humanity!

Please, the secret police do not call!
For all I said solely in great joke,
I do not wish to suddenly cease,
Humor may be a bit broke’,
But I am ally, come only at peace,
Last I want to see is cobra grease…

Written by Shinzzoabe

Shinzo’s satire poem targets the Elite Guardians of CP. It begins by acknowledging their strength, which the army community may find threatening. Shinzo notes that EGCP fights for valuable reasons and, after winning battles, enjoys flaunting their victories.

In the second part, the poem states that although the Guardians are strong, this doesn’t faze Shinzo. He finds their chaotic and questionable decisions more painful than a bee sting, preferring simpler issues over EGCP’s unpredictability.

In the next part, Shinzo criticizes the Guardians’ harsh leadership, which exhausts the troops. As an outsider, this overwhelms Shinzo. He writes that he feels sympathetic and concerned for the troops involved.

Lastly, Shinzo explains that his criticisms of EGCP were all in good fun. He asks them not to contact the authorities, referencing a running joke about the Guardians doing this when someone leaves the army. Though his humor may differ from the norm, he insists he is an ally roasting them in a friendly way. The last thing he’d want is to get in trouble with EGCP leader, Cobra.

Throughout Shinzo’s poem, it is evident that he carefully considered all the criteria for the contest. His points were clear and directed towards the Guardians. His writing included humor and successfully captured the essence of satire. With these reasonings, Shinzo was placed first.

Second Place

The Army of Club Penguin, noble and bold,
Marched off to war, as our story unfolds.
Joel and Bschar thought they could hold their own as they planned,
But Roxy and Ugly led us to claim their nation’s land.
We stormed the Migrator, as their forces withdrew,
Raising our banner, our victory in view.
Losing in OT, SS finally fell to their knees,
As we conquered their capital, the land of the seas.
No matter the hate that comes our way,
Our triumph speaks for itself, clear as day.

Written by Calgocubs21

The satire poem written by Calgocubs21 was towards the conflict currently occurring between the Army of Club Penguin and Secret Service. Calgo begins by describing the Clovers as honorable and fearless. He mentions that as the army goes to war, a new chapter begins. Recently, leaders of SS, Joel and Bschar, have expressed their dislike for ACP, leading the community to speculate about a potential war between the two armies.

In this poem, Calgo describes a scenario where the two Clover leaders, Roxy and Ugly, storm SS territory and claim the land Migrator. Calgo writes that as soon as the Clovers invade SS land, the army instantly surrender. He explains that once SS surrenders, the Clovers will raise their banners, marking the Migrator as theirs and ensuring a positive outcome.

Overall, this satirical poem was well-written, including subtle jabs at another army and its leaders. Calgo’s writing met the criteria for satire, though it leaned more towards a serious tone. The clever use of humor and exaggeration highlights the competitive spirit and ongoing tension between the two armies. Due to this, Calgo was placed at second place.

Third Place

stinky acp
acp pee
somebody went wee wee on acp
they are so green
like a tree
they are so ugly
cant we all agree
ugly is so dumb
he doesnt have a degree
when acp shuts down
i will scream with glee

Written by Scars

Scars’ satirical poem targets the Clovers, starting with a jab at ACP, calling them stinky. He humorously suggests they smell because someone urinated on them. Scars continues by comparing the Clovers to a tree, but describes them as ugly. He then asks readers if they can agree that ACP is not physically appealing. Scars also throws shade at Ugly, calling him “dumb” and noting that he lacks a degree. The poem concludes with Scars expressing that he will be yelling with excitement when ACP shuts down.

This satirical poem was definitely humorous, and Scars did an excellent job fulfilling the criteria. Satirical poems are supposed to be light-hearted and roast other members of the community, which Scars successfully did. Scars also was able to maintain a rhythm throughout the poem, making his writing playful. With Scars meeting all the criteria, this led to the decision to place him third.

The Legends Satirical Poem Contest not only provided more fun and creative activity within the community but also showed that, despite the armies’ differences, humor is a great way to unite everyone. Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest, and a special congratulations to Shinzo, Calgo, and Scars! Also, shoutout to Mchappy for hosting the Legends Satire Poem contest for this year’s anniversary. Until next year, au revoir!

Mare
Editor in Chief

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